Am I worthy of success? Am I deserving of happiness? Am I deserving of the good measure that flows with success? I can’t see myself as being fit and healthy, or being happy and loved as I am…with the body that I have. Ugh…how do I stop self-sabotage? !
Does this sound like you? If so, then we’ve got some work to do my friend because if you truly believe this, you will NEVER EVER reach your goals.
This is what we call a limiting belief and limiting beliefs are are often at the root of why we self sabotage our very own success. I could give you all the mindfulness tips, healthy eating tips in the world but at the end of the day if you believe you aren’t worthy to be successful or are undeserving of the success that is possible for you – I promise you you’ll find a way to sabotage yourself to align with these inner beliefs.
Beliefs can be extremely powerful and control our behavior. Thoughts whether they are unconscious or conscious to us, impact our feelings which impact our actions we take or don’t take. These deep core beliefs like I am never enough or worthy enough often often comes from things that people said to you or about you, and they have convinced you. They programmed you to see yourself in a limited parameter. And so when you see opportunities beyond how you’ve been programmed, you reject it because you don’t feel like you’re deserving of it.
And also because of this programming, you contribute each unfortunate experience in your life back to I’m not good enough or I’m not deserving of, so much so, that you believe no matter how much you do, no matter how much you accomplish, how many friends you acquire, you’re just not good enough or deserving of what you desire.
But what if I were to tell you that the thought in your mind that you are never good enough and undeserving that you have embodied to be true was just a load of you-know-what? Yeah right Shelby, I know I’m not enough is what you might be saying, but let me ask you something…what if I’m right?
What if I’m right and you’re over there wasting your time and letting opportunities just slip right by you because you refuse to be open to the possibility that maybe you can change how you feel about yourself. What if I’m right and you could be feeling like you’re on top of the mountain screaming in success but instead you’re stuck because you refuse to be open to the possibilities that what you believe to be true about yourself – isn’t?!
The problem with self-sabotage, for many of us is, that we get into the habit of it. As humans we are creatures of habit. Our brains are literally meant to automate what we practice and do often, day in and day out, as a means to save energy. These repetitive patterns then become our emotional home, that’s our place of familiarity that we tend to unconsciously always find our way back to.
But what do we know about habits? We can change them! I’m going to outline some steps for today to help you break down these beliefs and replace them with ones that align with the person you are yearning to become. Now,these steps will require some footwork but hey, if you really want to change your beliefs, you’ve got to put in the effort.
How To Stop Self-Sabotage: Step #1
Write down all the old beliefs that have kept you from following through on your goal in the past that you are willing to release and no longer allow to infiltrate your future. What pain has this caused you? What interruptions in your life have these beliefs created? What have you missed out on? What hardships have you and are you experiencing?
Make it hurt. This is going to start building some negative, painful neuro associations in your brain with the thought of not changing. We know most people’s brains naturally move away from neuro associations it has with pain and moves towards neuro associations it has with things that are pleasurable.
How To Stop Self-Sabotage: Step #2
Visualize your success. Just as past experiences impact your beliefs about what is possible, so does your imagined experience of the future. It is absolutely essential that you create a positive neuro association with your future self. Studies show that visualization is so important when it comes to rewiring your brain. No one else can do this for you.
Prime yourself for success by taking time to visualize your success. Write down your vision or make a digital (Canva.com, Pinterest) or physical vision board. Visualize your success that includes what is important to you, what you wish to accomplish and experience, but does NOT include your limiting beliefs! If visualizing your success is filled only with uncertainty, doubt, and fear…then you’ve found the hole you’ve got to plug. Your brain won’t move forward willingly if it only associates your future self with massive amounts of pain!
How To Stop Self-Sabotage: Step #3
Replace your habitual smack talk you say to yourself. Write down new beliefs that will empower you from this point forward. I AM statements are very powerful here. Instead of, I’m not worthy for example, replace that with I AM worthy or I’ll never lose this weight to I’m in the process of figuring it out, I’ll get there. How would you encourage your friend? Child? Apply it to YOU too! Review these every day and don’t just say it, EMBODY IT. FEEL IT. Remember, what if I’m right and you can change the trajectory of your life as you know it?
How To Stop Self-Sabotage: Step #4
Write down ALL your reasons you MUST remove these limiting beliefs? What are your reasons you MUST take action towards the success you envision? (Change occurs when we move from something being a “should” to becoming a “must” change in our lives). Get real with yourself.
Maybe you MUST change because let’s face it, you’re depressed! Maybe it’s a MUST change for you because how you feel sucks! Maybe it’s a MUST change for you because your health literally depends on it, maybe it’s a MUST change for you because you see your child beginning to take on the very same beliefs and unhealthy habits you do?
How To Stop Self-Sabotage: Step #5
Finally, review your new beliefs and vision for success often and work hard to anchor them into your body. Imagine the feelings these new beliefs will bring to your life, feel them in your soul, celebrate this feeling! How grateful you are to be (confident, healthy, loved, valued, successful, blessed, etc). Repeat Repeat Repeat.
Now, not feeling worthy enough or feeling undeserving isn’t the specific belief you struggle with but you continually see the patterns of self sabotage, then consider signing up for a free 14 day trial to my Diet Freedom Membership. Why? Because I’m throwing in a bonus Self Sabotage workshop that will expand on other reasons why we self sabotage and give you even more in depth steps that you can take to put all of that to a halt.
Think about what would be possible for you if you could just figure this one very important piece to this puzzle?
Author Shelby McDaniel
Hi! I’m Shelby and I’m a food lovin’ nutritionist but…I’m not a regular nutritionist. I’m an intuitive eating specialist, eating psychology practitioner, and Certified Mind Body Nutrition Coach, here to free you from diet culture once and for all! Because you deserve peace with food, eating, and your body. (Yes, I'm talking to YOU!)